Straight from the Heart

May be I am not your first friend

But I hope to stay far past the end

May be I don't resonate with you always

But I always try to understand

May be I m not the sweetest soul

But I try to listen and learn 

May be I am meddlesome and intense

But  all forms of love is always past all pretense

May be I sound I like I compare

But it is only for me to get better, as i truly care

May be I always ask for more

Not because i expect but because you are joy to the core

May be I will never be your best

But I hope to always stand by you through the worst

Kinky boots

I write about things that are close to my heart or the ones that challenges my perspective on something. One such is the unconventional or less-conventional choices people make and the minimal to null external validation that they receive for making one such.

While there are so many examples I can cite to discuss this, Courtship and marriage tops the list as it is considered to have a significant impact in how a person’s adult life shapes up and the emphasis put on it specially in India, the country I grew up in. While I am by no means against the idea of marriage or partnership, I just wonder if it should it be the defacto choice for everyone.

Additionally, Indian marriage system also thrives in the idea of matchmaking, setting up two people of opposite sex primarily directly for marriage earlier and for courtship and marriage in the present ‘modern’ days. Again, I am personally not against the system and have been lucky enough to find someone to call them company for a lifetime. But just because it exists, should everyone take a stride on it. While I would not want to delve deep into pros and cons of matchmaking, I can say for sure, not everyone enjoys the process although it is just a means to the happy ending or what we hope to be happily-ever-after. Is it wise to place so much emphasis on the romantic bond or it is just that people are so used to tried and tested ways of living life that everything else seems wacky.

I understand humans are wired to be socially inclined and enjoy the connections and companionship, they make all through their life despite the complex nature of relationships. Would this mean, everyone are compelled to make an attempt to find their romantic-connection one way or other just because the world around them follows that order. If they don’t why is it always hard for the people around them to support or give the much-needed reassurance for the path, they would like to navigate through unless they are the very close-knit relationships. Even the closest family comes under the pressure to convince the person to stick to conventional wisdom as they are forced to believe that is the way to go to avoid the umpteen concerned- critics in the form of extended family and friends.

With all due respect to the genuine concerns around how the less-chartered waters could backfire and hurt that very person they truly care for, aren't we forgetting. that friends and family exist because we help in times of need, support the choices an individual makes obviously after gently suggesting opinions and providing perspectives so the individual makes an informed decision.

Ironically, the stark reality seems to be that the selfless world that cares about other people so much also would like them to confirm to their beliefs. The line between gentle suggestions and forceful imposition royally burns resulting in strong critics. Is it because the life of their extended family or a friend would end up having atypical problems that they can’t solve or the possibility that they would have a happily-ever-after without significant other does not look appealing enough.

Conclusively or not so conclusively as it feels to me I am tempted to question the very frame of human thought process - Are people without self-realization stay opinionated and judgmental , although convincing themselves that they are progressive and open-minded. Why can’t someone generally be open to the unique individualist world . Maybe it will open up the world to some more interesting possibilities than the mundane rigor of offering un-sought solutions to others’ typical problems. Why should kinky boots always be frowned upon.

Perhaps, I am being way too cynical than needed but a challenge to this perspective is what I look forward to.

To A

It was not the first time we met

not the first kiss when you held me close

Not the first trip together

not the first time we slept together

not when you gave me the tall and mighty surprises

but when you took me all in

when i was not myself

took the tantrums, the pain i grew to be

took in all the sulking

the bad decisions that followed

and waited till i came back to my senses

I knew that true love exists 

And i found one myself

MY MOST FAVOURITE MAIL
Its 7 : 30 a.m. and I stand here in the bus stop waiting for the office bus to arrive. I stand here in the same manner as I did a few years back waiting for my college bus. Little did I know then that things would change so much in 2 years; the sky under which I am standing seems to be looking at me and smiling .. It is perhaps the only thing that has acted as a witness .. watching the transformation of a loud and bubbly person into a quiet professional.
I wouldn't blame the professionalism for the change though. It is destiny, or may be you could call it life. Yes Life, esoteric in the true sense, for one does not understand why you meet hundreds of people everyday, work with so many, and still remain lonely.
I am now in one of the corner seats in the bus, looking out of the window watching people trying to catch up with "life" .. It's an hour's journey and the only company that I generally have is the chatter of the RJ. I seldom notice the person sitting next to me, for its going to be yet another stranger or may be you could say another acquaintance. It is annoying at times when the radio is switched off, not because I am cut off from the melody but because I would now be thrust with thoughts of the solitary journey ahead.
I can't help thinking about the short bus journeys to college ... well it's a paradox to call a distance of 30 KMs "short", but that is how it always seemed. A typical college day always begins in the bus with all the familiar faces; you look forward for all your friends to get in from the various stops, the reasonless giggles, the loud laughter that were stifled to avert the eyes of the lecturers and professors who would watch on us as if we were their prospective prey for the day ... well as I said it was a different life then. The pleasant memories of college are in itself good enough to save me from the misery of the bus journey.
I notice that it is time for me to get down and flash my smile of acknowledgement to all the known strangers that I see as I approach my cubicle. A few of my colleagues greet me with their morning wishes and as always, we exchange our pleasantries. Discussions jump to the weekend plans and I wonder what I'd do over the weekend.
It would be just another day staring at the mobile, wishing it would ring and bring back some wonderful moments that are now missing in life or maybe the safer option would be to come to office, for it's my new founded asylum these days. A few years back, weekends or weekdays didn't matter to me, I was always busy. I always stood doubting the authenticity of the wall clock that seemed to be in running too fast to perceive its movement. Alas, now it seems as though my clock is suffering from some kind of paralytic attack.
There is a time in life, where one needs to go ahead, leaving behind your friends and carrying along only memories. You do make new friends, but then you never get the old close ones ... you do meet people who'd be so good to you that you could tell them anything and everything, but you do not find a person to whom you needn't say things ... friends who just know you. Occasional calls from such friends, have been the only thing that I seem to look forward to ....However,I cant help but notice the uneasy pause that lingers around the conversation ..A pause not because of the relationship, but because it is too short a duration to say everything, and of course you cannot completely rule out the paucity of words!
As I sip coffee from the ubiquitous coffee mug, watching the drops of rain, trickling down the tinted glass panes, veiling the scenic beauty outside, I tell myself, may be there will be a day when things will change, when life will offer a rewind, a recap of all the events and I just have to wait.
Capricious are the ways of life, for I know there would be many who'd be able to empathize with me, ironically, even the dear ones that I miss this moment, waiting perhaps...!!
And I keep on waiting......


PS: i dunno who is the writer for sure.. but i loved the content way too much and it perfectly reflects my thoughts.... to my astonishment, many of my office friends share the same thoughts...thought i shud post it and so i did!!! hats off to the writer anyways:)

Life Anew!!!!!!!!...............

Many a times i wonder whether i take the right decisions and smile to myself without knowing the answer! But, till now,i have never found the answer for what makes me decide in a way i have never thought of before making one such.bizarre!!.may be that is called fate ?? destiny??..leave it.no more research.
But,the decision to join hella is one such.A TWIST IN THE TALE i should say!but i am happy for it till now. Thanks to some superior power above me,call it GOD(as it is the common term used). i am revved up today for i have spent one full month in the part of INDIA where i have never been before not even for a single day ... The saddest thing is that i am much comfortable with an alien language and struggling to learn my NATIONAL language...what to do??the country is too diversified to make everyone undestand its own language.KUDOS to everyone reponsible for this (including me for not making serious efforts to learn it).

Huh, what am i doing, the title should have been "A great grumble" or "a big brood" because all i have described is my inability, no , not-that-great ability to communicate in Hindi.But, i can say that the maximum part of fun i have with my friends takes it root in my Hindi accent.just hold your horses . will quote some examples , then you ll get it.
Now back to my expereiences in pune.I must admit that i am a real fortunate and lucky person when it comes to friends and well-wishers.
On the day 2 in pune, i went to the apartment alloted to us and met shivi-my wonderful friend now.I was so excited thrilled and had a fear in the corner of my mind. But now, i thank god and pray him that my relationship with shivi should burgeon every day with no cracks not even a scratch.she was so amiable with smile litting up her face brightening not just her but also the people around.
she is one among those who kept me and keeps me away from home-sickness. Let me say a few things about my other apartment mates.Both of them are from karnataka. pooja and shilpa. we four decided to stay together on the first day we met and they were so terse on the first day of our meeting- a usual problem with many people. Both shivi and i had no problems in breaking the ice,both being chatter-boxes, though she has an edge over me in communicating effectively, one thing among various things i am learning from her.
we were really fortunate because all our parents got along with each other so well and
after a three day-long hunt , the MISSION-HOME HUNT ended up successfully.All credits to the parents.
yeah, that was a hapy start and it was extra-special to all of us because none of us have ever stayed in a private apartment before. we have our own abode and that brough in me an extra tinge of happiness. Yet another thing that surprised me was we had no issues on any thing because each one of us were very flexible and kind o focussed on nourshing the relationship with each other. it is always a pleasant thing to be around such people and thats the way i feel.pooja is an innocent girl ,vey patient and composed ,intelligent smart and added to all these is her flair for involuntary- sit- and- sleep action. wow , such an awesome a-must- watch show.i can also desribe this elaborately. pooja is a brilliant kid but she cannot hold control over her sleep. she ll fall over the books again and again . she also has a flair to banter people though it comes out unintentionally. i love her comments so much that i have started making a list of it. pooja is so responsible yet one fine day she was generous enough to donate her wallet with just 1500 rs and all her debt card to someone except for the fact that person was not known to her yet he / she took hers with all prerogative.(Poor pooja) is struggling hard to make up for the lost money in VAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YET TO BE CONTINUED.....
IN my next episode u ll find a silent shocking shock absorberand observer MISS SHILPA!!

ARE U FREE??
hey hi everyone, are u free........... check out this link, a good way to while away time
http://home.comcast.net/~wolfand/..
hope u enjoy this!!!!!!!!

FOREVER IT LIVES