Straight from the Heart

May be I am not your first friend

But I hope to stay far past the end

May be I don't resonate with you always
But I always try to understand

May be I m not the sweetest soul
But I try to listen and learn 

May be I am meddlesome and intense
But  all forms of love is always past all pretense

May be I sound I like I compare
But it is only for me to get better, as i truly care

May be I always ask for more
Not because i expect but because you are joy to the core

May be I will never be your best
But I hope to always stand by you through the worst

Kinky boots

I write about things that are close to my heart or the ones that challenges my perspective on something. One such is the unconventional or less-conventional choices people make and the minimal to null external validation that they receive for making one such.

While there are so many examples I can cite to discuss this, Courtship and marriage tops the list as it is considered to have a significant impact in how a person’s adult life shapes up and the emphasis put on it specially in India, the country I grew up in. While I am by no means against the idea of marriage or partnership, I just wonder if it should it be the defacto choice for everyone.

Additionally, Indian marriage system also thrives in the idea of matchmaking, setting up two people of opposite sex primarily directly for marriage earlier and for courtship and marriage in the present ‘modern’ days. Again, I am personally not against the system and have been lucky enough to find someone to call them company for a lifetime. But just because it exists, should everyone take a stride on it. While I would not want to delve deep into pros and cons of matchmaking, I can say for sure, not everyone enjoys the process although it is just a means to the happy ending or what we hope to be happily-ever-after. Is it wise to place so much emphasis on the romantic bond or it is just that people are so used to tried and tested ways of living life that everything else seems wacky.

I understand humans are wired to be socially inclined and enjoy the connections and companionship, they make all through their life despite the complex nature of relationships. Would this mean, everyone are compelled to make an attempt to find their romantic-connection one way or other just because the world around them follows that order. If they don’t why is it always hard for the people around them to support or give the much-needed reassurance for the path, they would like to navigate through unless they are the very close-knit relationships. Even the closest family comes under the pressure to convince the person to stick to conventional wisdom as they are forced to believe that is the way to go to avoid the umpteen concerned- critics in the form of extended family and friends.

With all due respect to the genuine concerns around how the less-chartered waters could backfire and hurt that very person they truly care for, aren't we forgetting. that friends and family exist because we help in times of need, support the choices an individual makes obviously after gently suggesting opinions and providing perspectives so the individual makes an informed decision.

Ironically, the stark reality seems to be that the selfless world that cares about other people so much also would like them to confirm to their beliefs. The line between gentle suggestions and forceful imposition royally burns resulting in strong critics. Is it because the life of their extended family or a friend would end up having atypical problems that they can’t solve or the possibility that they would have a happily-ever-after without significant other does not look appealing enough.

Conclusively or not so conclusively as it feels to me I am tempted to question the very frame of human thought process - Are people without self-realization stay opinionated and judgmental , although convincing themselves that they are progressive and open-minded. Why can’t someone generally be open to the unique individualist world . Maybe it will open up the world to some more interesting possibilities than the mundane rigor of offering un-sought solutions to others’ typical problems. Why should kinky boots always be frowned upon.

Perhaps, I am being way too cynical than needed but a challenge to this perspective is what I look forward to.

To A

It was not the first time we met

not the first kiss when you held me close

Not the first trip together

not the first time we slept together

not when you gave me the tall and mighty surprises

but when you took me all in

when i was not myself

took the tantrums, the pain i grew to be

took in all the sulking

the bad decisions that followed

and waited till i came back to my senses

I knew that true love exists 

And i found one myself